Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Creepmas-Day Two! Santa the Man

So, yesterday we considered the elf issue. Let's get to the heart of the matter--the meat, the main dude--Santa himself--Santa the man. Some food for thought from the same little book by John Updike and delightfully illustrated by Edward Gorey. After you read this, take a look at an alternate version of the dude in red via YouTube.
Chapter one reads, "Loose-fitting nylon beard, fake optical twinkle, cheap red suit, funny rummy smell when you sit on his lap. If he's such a big shot, why is he drawing unemployment for eleven months of the year? Something scary and off-key about him, like one of those Stephen King clowns." Updike goes further in chapter two, "...a man of no plausible address, with no apparent source for his considerable wealth, comes down the chimney after midnight while decent, law-abiding citizens are snug in their beds--is this not, at the least, cause for alarm?"

by D3RX


  1. Santa Claus steady mobbin' made me cracked up. Great new take on the Jolly old elf.

  2. Santa the Man...hmmm...sitting on his lap always freaked me out. Who are these guys...really? Do they pass a criminal record check? At any other time of year sitting on the lap of guy dressed in a red suit...well...might cost you;)

  3. Ha! Great video! I've got to get a copy of that fabulous Updike/Gorey book!!

  4. Hmmmm . . . makes you wonder what he really carries around in that sack . . .